My Dog Ate My Mom

Ok so in Yearbook, Ann and I decided that it would be fun to write really weird stories. Here is mine:

Have you ever wanted ice cream so much that you were willing to kill for it? Yeah, me neither...

It all started that day I was born. My mom gave birth to me in a bucket. She said that it would be a faster clean up that way, but I think something inside of me changed that day.

I never knew my father. He was always playing with yoyos and wouldn't have much time for me anyway, at least that's what I was told.

My sister always has friends over, so I don't talk to her that much. Her friends are weird. Every time they come over, they have rubber chickens duct tapped to their elbows. They say it's because, if they don't, they'll turn into nincompoops.

So, you've read a full page of my story, and you still don't know if I'm a boy or a girl. People jump to conclusions a lot. In your mind, what gender am I?

Boy or Girl

You're wrong. Whatever you chose, it's wrong. Or maybe you're right. Who am I to tell you if you're right or wrong?

So, the story. I went to the fair with my second best friend twice removed. We used to be best friends, but in the 2nd grade, he took my animal cracker and threw it down the slide. Since then, things have been different between us.

We decided that it would be fun to ride the teacups. We got on the ride and started it up. The teacups spun faster and faster until my second best friend twice removed threw up on my new Avengers shirt. I was so mad that I grabbed a bumble bee that was flying threw the air, and shoved it into his mouth. He died 64 half minutes later.

I didn't know he was allergic to my hand...

The End!

What do you think of it?

Lots of love
~Lindsey:)